Why is Suffering Sacred?

Think about your darkest period. It may have felt endless, but eventually, the clouds cleared. You emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient. And here you are, standing tall.

That dark period is proof that even in the most nightmarish situations, we can rise with a deeper understanding of life and the world. We all encounter suffering—trapped in pain and self-blame—but we also learn and grow from it.

For 31 years, my life was filled with joy, untouched by real suffering. Then, my four-day-old daughter was diagnosed as blind. In the years that followed, more shocks came as we learned that she was not only blind but mute and cognitively challenged. The final, devastating blow arrived when she was diagnosed with stage 4 leukemia at eight and a half. She passed away just four months later. If my daughter Yogita were alive today, she would be a beautiful 35-year-old woman.

Looking back, I marvel at our capacity to endure grief and still find joy again. My daughter, Yogita, remains a constant reminder not to take anything for granted and to love unconditionally.

Suffering is inherently painful and challenging. It comes with fear and emotional anguish, often blinding us from seeing the potential lessons within. But only through these painful emotions do we build character and truly flourish in the world. In fact, suffering holds the seeds of transformation. It leads to personal growth, spiritual development, resilience, communal bonds, and even creative expression. Suffering strips us down to our most authentic selves and reveals profound truths about human nature.

Suffering is divine training for the mind. It teaches us to see value in every experience, no matter how difficult. It is a sacred gift that helps us develop resilience and a deeper understanding of life’s complexities. It shapes our character and motivates us to help others facing similar challenges, fueling our desire to contribute positively to society.

Suffering is inevitable, but it is also an influential teacher. I often think back to the things that upset me before I experienced true adversity—things like a slow employee or bad traffic. Today, those things seem trivial. They no longer bother me, and instead, I laugh at life’s minor annoyances. Suffering has taught me that when things don’t go as expected, they don’t have to control me. I quickly remind myself that it could always be worse, and I become grateful for what I have.

However, to understand that suffering is sacred is not to deny its pain or reframe it with toxic positivity. We must avoid the trap of dismissing suffering with false optimism. Instead, we need to accept suffering, both in ourselves and others. We often struggle the most with witnessing someone else’s pain, which leads us to comfort them with positive platitudes. Yet, when we force positivity, we inadvertently make people feel like their suffering is wrong or insignificant.

Instead, we must acknowledge their pain. A simple, “I can see this is incredibly hard for you, and you’re really something,” can be far more powerful than any positive cliché. By offering presence and empathy, we assure others that they are not alone. While we cannot take their suffering away, we can stand with them in solidarity.

You cannot make suffering disappear, but you can change your relationship with it. Suffering is the secret ingredient of transformation. It is essential for discovering who you truly are, acting as a mirror that reflects your most authentic self.

Bad things will inevitably happen to you. But this is good. They are opportunities in disguise, pushing you to dig deeper and find strength and resilience you didn’t know you had. They force you to confront your fears and limitations, leading to a clearer understanding of who you are. So, train yourself to befriend suffering. It is not an adversary but a teacher, guiding you toward your true self.

When life throws you a steep curve, embrace the challenge. It will make you a better driver. And through the growth that comes with suffering, you will not only change your own life—you will make the world a better place.